Limit of Endurance

2012-01-04T01:54:00.002+08:00

'Tis been months since my last post, and come to think of it, nothing much has changed. Other than the fact that O levels are over, and new obstacles are sure to come.

Carefree, yes. But something's really bugging me real bad. After an activity or when I get some quiet time alone, it pervades my thoughts

Am I wrong- being unable to muster the courage to tell her? What if she has known it all along and decides to abandon ship without a word? What if she finds my obvious flaws and decides its too much of a deterrent?

It's said that find someone who accepts your flaws, as they make you who you are. But I can think of no one else.

Perhaps I might come across someone else in the future... Then I hope my results are good.

2011-10-29T00:17:00.002+08:00

in the midst of o levels and feeling like shit. Feeling alone in the middle of a crowd.

I want someone i could talk to, who would talk to me too. To listen to secrets i hold dear, to tell me things nobody has heard a word of. But thats the perfect bond.

And you're afraid of committing to it.

So why not him, if not me? You wouldn't breathe a word, so I'm left to close my eyes and take a stab. I'm sorry, if I had hurt you.

So when?

2011-09-23T18:08:00.001+08:00

Grow up.

Hopefully the years go by and you'll get a little more mature. Perhaps then I can have a honest conversation with you

Damn it

2011-09-22T22:54:00.002+08:00

Feeling damn extra~ =(

Matter of perspective

2011-09-22T21:39:00.001+08:00

Realise your potential.
You don't need make up to look beautiful.

About time

2011-09-22T00:58:00.001+08:00

Would you be there?

2011-09-19T21:25:00.001+08:00

I would very much like to see you again

2011-08-08T22:09:00.001+08:00

"You know where you're not wanted? On the face of this earth. So just fuck off and die."

Thanks a lot.

Changes

2011-07-24T17:38:00.002+08:00

Sitting wondering and marveling at how things have changed, tables turned and character altered. I wonder why have they changed. Perhaps its me who changed. I took so much for granted with you, misplaced my loyalties with them and wasted my time on it.

2011-07-18T20:04:00.003+08:00

Is everything fake? Is there no truth in your actions? Is the world finally showing me what's real, subsequently revealing those who were wearing masks?

I won't say my life sucks; people suffer more shit than I do. But fuck this man. Nothing I do is justified. Nothing I say contributes. Nothing I attempt succeeds.

I've never been a good friend. I've always been just an acquaintance. But I guess its better; I'd rather just type them out than to plague anyone else about my minuscule problems.

I'm fucking weak. But I'll still try my best.

2011-07-12T16:55:00.003+08:00

I should have known better. Perhaps if I sit down, shut up and just think, the world will just forget me and everything will turn out for the better.

damn it. once again

2011-07-11T21:43:00.002+08:00

I feel I'm too emotional. Like a fucking wussy. I guess I could have diagnosed myself the time I sparred while tears flowed.

Noooo, really?

2011-07-07T22:22:00.004+08:00

Its funny how people think someone's that consistent. I'm a human being, for fuck's sake.

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." -Marilyn Monroe

Dammit

2011-06-27T02:06:00.001+08:00

My heart longs for both of them, but the mind knows none can be obtained. That's how deep I am in this shit.

2011-06-25T22:33:00.003+08:00

She:

Hello I am a parent and I don't nag! I don't even know if my kids complete them holiday homework! It's their responsibility not mine! Frankly speaking only - gives the most homework, my PSLE boy has more homework than my eldest who is sitting for IGCSE this year!BTW my eldest just started holidays last week and won't go back to school till 1 Aug! If he was in -, he will be buried in piles of homework! When he goes for learning trips, no reflection of homework, in bed by 10pm every night! No homework comes with very high school fees!

Me:

it depends on the situation. perhaps in primary school the subjects may be different from your eldest son's subjects, in terms of perhaps content and application of knowledge. Additionally, it is expected, as a student grows older, that he has to be responsible of his own studies. Is self-study sessions taken into account when measuring workload? Will the primary school student decide to immerse himself into self-studying during his free time?

She:

See another civil servant in the making! Gosh now I am glad I didn't and won't send my sons to secondary in -!

HAHA what a troll. Perhaps it is wise not to feed it? Tell me how my explanation portray a civil servant in the making? Does your son lack the ability to understand the responsibilities he will realize and subsequently undertake on the route to maturity? So fine, we will have a grown up man with no fucking self motivation and only does what he's told? I can expect it: this place is going to the dogs, so long as there's people like her. I mean, COME ON! She reverted to a fucking personal attack! HAH Correct me if I'm wrong, lady, but until then- keep your snide remarks to yourself. I don't want to make you call him up and complain just because you got fucking owned in a debate you started.

Insufficient coal

2011-06-21T22:51:00.004+08:00

Took this not long after I met you.

Its great to hear your voice, after all these while. But where has the inspiration gone? The drive is dead. The motivation dissipated. The determination corroded. And its mine I'm talking about. You just don't inspire me to continue working anymore.

Bloggers are dying out. Why, blogging too much of a hassle? Perhaps. I guess it might be better that way, less people (if not none) reading your rants and judging you from there. Short attention spans and enhanced multi-social ethics. I used to fear the more sociable you were, the more likely I would lose you before I had the chance. Its all my selfish desires.
Can anyone make their own chances without being labeled as one who shoots for?

You didn't seem interested. I'm starting to lose mine. The cliche truth butts in that "we weren't meant to be", or its just me going to be forever alone.

Fuck this.

Maturity

2011-06-16T23:43:00.004+08:00

You stick to your own desire for the company of maturity, so much as to let your own perspective of what maturity is and what is it based on, blind you from what is underneath the the act that you loath so much and thought childish. It so happens that perhaps what is beneath that is what you have been looking for all along, but you did not notice it.

Why?

2011-06-10T02:36:00.003+08:00

Why have I lost that motivation? Like a freaking train out of juice. Someone help me.

2011-06-08T23:03:00.001+08:00

If you have nothing better to say, just shut your mouth. No need to go sarcastic all over me. I've enough of the shit I get from people like you.

C'est la vie

2011-05-09T13:23:00.004+08:00

I'm procrastinating again. But who gives a crap? I miss Paris. Better start on my homework. Damn it
Should I start watermarking my photos? =P

CAN WE BUILD IT?

2011-05-07T20:40:00.006+08:00

Damn. I thought themes were supposed to be basic and easy to use, well, easier than blogskin codes. This particular new one's like Martian to me, but I managed anyway :D
I guess its all just a distraction, perhaps. Ever since I started using this computer, its like I'm just procrastinating all the way. Can't be justified due to the fact that its no different from before I started using the computer. Ah whatever. Just gotta stop procrastinating.

Click to enlarge
As you can see, its pretty much my attempt to make my photos a little less "ordinary". Making the colors stand out more than they already are. What do you think?

Gotta stop procrastinating.

How would it feel like?

2011-05-05T00:54:00.003+08:00

Wish I could just fly.

'tis been some time since I've gone out shooting with my camera. Not much time, nobody to go with.

Its an irony. Me taking those subjects and not have "sufficient time" while others take extra subjects and still fared better.

What is their secret?

2011-04-11T18:05:00.000+08:00

If gone is the family support, then who else is there?

its only fifteen and a half years

2011-03-30T18:12:00.002+08:00

Already a life full of regrets.

And I'm not doing any justice to myself by letting go.

2011-03-24T23:40:00.001+08:00

I just wish you would keep your desire for him at least a secret

Square one

2011-03-07T22:21:00.003+08:00

Anger comes first, along with wonder why didn't you appreciate all that I've done.

Then I reminded myself that you didn't even ask. I just tried to be perfect.

Sorrow comes last, before I reminded myself that wa what you hated, what made me imperfect. I resolved and forced myself out of it. So now here I am. I made it back to square one.

2011-03-05T02:20:00.003+08:00

"Him? Nope, nothing's going on. he's just holding on to the friendship. kinda desperately"

It confirms the fears. Yet you can't prepare yourself for it. It still delivers a shocker.

Implosion

2011-02-25T17:21:00.004+08:00

When the world doesn't care, it doesn't mean they don't care. It means you don't make them care. And then you ask yourself, why the heck would you want to make them care? Attention seeker arh? There are people who would really want to care about what's thrashing you inside, but feel that doing so would step on toes. For those like that, I won't blame you. Heck, care if you want, I'll appreciate it. But if you can't spend a minute without poking your nose into other people's business and can't do anything to help, or even make it worse for them intentionally, you should stay out of my way. And out of those whom are in this shit with me. Cause I CARE.

Prelim one was shit. I can't believe I would screw it up this badly. Poor time management killed me, and careless mistakes too. But like they say, never look back.
I've got a chance of getting pushed back down a level, from what I gather. Not afraid, actually. That's pretty surprising. Right now, I'm sacrificing SYF for the books, and my teacher didn't suggest that. I did.
I don't want to jeopardize the group I love, for the goal they want to achieve. At the same time, I can do myself justice and focus on what should be top priority. Still, SYF is an experience I don't wanna miss - my band life's deprived enough already. And I wish to have that A1 for CCA, getting 2 points off would make a difference. But isn't that all too selfish?

And if I pull out, and work as hard as I can, then one day a teacher calls me up, informs me that I'm degraded, and its too late to prepare for SYF, how much more fucked up life can get?
I don't wish to say FML, really, 'cause I know somewhere out there, someone's got it worse, but really, I'm torn apart.

I won't blame it on you, but I could use some concern, from you.

2011-02-21T00:12:00.001+08:00

i laughed at your inability to capacitate.
Pretty much turned into nervous laughter, i mean, look who's laughing?

Set in stone

2011-02-19T23:26:00.001+08:00

And empty.

2011-02-14T01:44:00.002+08:00

Omg, so much has happened. Since June 4th, 2009. People changed. I changed. They're moving on with life, and I'm here reminiscing about it, lagging behind. Why have I changed as such? Why am I turning into this? Why have I turned into this?

Am still I valued by my friends, as before? Why is this happening?

>=D

2011-02-13T22:23:00.002+08:00

Well, someone drew that.

Can't see what it is? Click to enlarge the pic =P

2011-02-11T20:35:00.001+08:00

I'll be back, after I deem myself worthy.

For too long

2011-02-10T22:13:00.003+08:00

Hell, its about time.

2011-02-09T18:21:00.002+08:00

With you right here, I'm a rocketeer. Lets fly.

Moneh

2011-02-08T23:21:00.003+08:00

'tis a season to be greedy!

Nom

NOm

NOM

2011-02-07T21:26:00.001+08:00

the teachers keep warning us that the next level would be harder, tougher, when it so happens that no amount warnings and doom-foretelling can prepare us for the sudden change in environment.

Life will keep biting our asses till it bleeds. Well my ass is raw and bleeding, but i can still sit down. KEEP IT COMING.

2011-02-05T12:43:00.002+08:00

cca, even if its a minor post, a small position, little responsibility, nothing changes even if we put extra effort in perfecting what we produced? Do we get extra cca points? or even the sought-after appreciation?
I'm resenting about something that's of not much importance to anyone else, but very important to me. Placed plenty of effort and sacrificing a whole night's sleep for something that didn't get featured, although it is obvious that mine is superior to that shit. Unless you can tell me that skill, although I'm sure you and I have close to none, was involved, the effort used in making it defines the quality of the product. And I regret putting in so much (compared to you) for so little.

2011-02-04T03:40:00.000+08:00

Endless nights spent awake, wondering and pondering about someone you love, but can never have.

So near, yet so far.

2011-02-01T00:49:00.004+08:00

All I ever wanted was to be friends. Why was it only me who opened up? I'm not blaming you; its just a question I would like to ask, nothing else.
I'm second in everything to you. But I wish I'll be the first you would call, in need of help or someone to talk to.

I'm still here, don't forget that =)

2011-01-23T20:28:00.000+08:00

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA i don't give a shit~ =)

2011-01-20T21:33:00.004+08:00

You're lucky though, that I care more about my future than dirtying my hands with your blood and tears

You sack of shit.

2011-01-19T00:59:00.003+08:00

holy crap. you fucking act cute piece of shit.

how can she even stand a guy like you?

Live like an animal

2011-01-17T01:37:00.001+08:00

Sec 4 life. Nothing you can do but to endure. Sometimes wish that life could be just as carefree. Stupid cat >.>

2011-01-15T21:15:00.001+08:00

Can somebody write a book about getting a life? I'll buy a copy.

2011-01-13T23:19:00.001+08:00

They say "she doesn't appreciate you. Give her up."

Is it that easy? Gosh, I had no idea.

2011-01-11T22:43:00.001+08:00

What are the uses dreams, if they're not there to mould our goals, stimulate our imagination and inspire us to succeed?

Burden?

2011-01-10T22:20:00.005+08:00

I'm sorry. For being a dick, for inflating that ego to such proportions and make super lame or annoying jokes.

Its the only way. Maybe I'll try to hold it in, perhaps it'll turn out for the better if I just stick the dumb stuff to myself.

2011-01-08T00:50:00.002+08:00

My mind repeatedly wanders where the things all of us want and, yet, cannot have. The perfect moments. Huh.

Perhaps I could have done better with you.

Road works ahead

2011-01-06T22:01:00.002+08:00

Its there to make your life hard.

Bring it on, bitch.

=/

2011-01-05T22:35:00.001+08:00

The shirt knows better.

2011-01-01T16:47:00.001+08:00

Oh yeah

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2011-01-01T16:39:00.003+08:00

i wonder if students who finally finish their o levels, do they feel a sense of loss, like there's nothing to aim for? i mean, when you're done and finished with what you've been preparing for 4 years, what happens if its gone? done? finito? instead, students go crazy about the long awaited feeling of the lack of pressure and the excitement of the prospects of outings and gatherings with friends.
It only proves one thing though, that 4 years of secondary school education is not about preparation of one major exam, but making friends along the way, people who would make those lips curl into a smile and laughter burst out of you. People who would slug it out with you through tough challenges with common solutions, people whose presence you just vie for, for no apparent reason.

2010-12-28T22:43:00.000+08:00

Nobody restricts me.

Nobody.

2010-12-18T06:14:00.004+08:00

Why do I keep thinking that roughing out with another guy would win the girl's heart? Itching for a fight, but keep reminding myself that I'll definitely lose.

Once had a dream. I felt the envy of her choosing him over me. After seeing him give me a hand gesture, I leaped on top of him and knocked him unto the ground before giving him multiple punches in the face. Stopped myself after her screaming reached my brain, sat down and buried my face in my bloody hands. Woke up sweating slightly and actually feeling anger. Weird huh~

Then again, it'll be a great way to sever the connection, no?

Juuuuuuuuuuust joking >=D

SWISS

2010-12-14T07:35:00.004+08:00

I thank my camera for helping me take amateur pictures, and the swiss scenery for making them look professional.

Or not.

Putting on a brave face

2010-12-14T06:50:00.003+08:00

Many of us would like to change for the person we want, alter our character, behavior and views just to agree and go along with that person in order to relate. Common interest is the link between you two, its the key to a relationship. However, if your key does not open her lock, then you have to visit the locksmith, endure the grinding method of changing your key's edges just to be able to fit in. You could say its the price to get the prize. To get her to notice you; to like you; to even find out that "hey, you exist".

Perhaps its easier to just give the person a slap or two, shake her vigorously and holler that you like her in the face. But that won't do, no? You have to be subtle, silent, getting her attention without her knowing your intent. Oh no, the "easy way out" is not an option for mighty sexy you.

So you change. You grind your teeth and endure being what you are not. Staying at home sleeping and mugging is your preferred option over going out, working out and trying to attain six pack abs for her, but what choice do you have? Love conquers all.

Perhaps you might like what its doing for you. Its a drug, a steroid. It pushes you to do it for him or her. Use it for your own gains, and you don't even need protein powder or brands essence of chicken. What it gets you is all-good. That low L1R5 or six pack abs is here to stay. And if there's rejection, its still okay: at least you got something out of it.
But what if its not okay?

You worked so hard to get what he/she likes and it doesn't work out. Who's fault is it? Her fault for choosing him over you? Your fault for pressing it on her? You can say its selfish; she didn't ask for you to like her, blame your hormones, douchebag. You waltz into her life demanding that she is to like you 'cause you worked so hard.
But she could just give you a chance, you did make an effort.

So what if you worked hard to be something you're not, something you don't like to be, but it works out? You kept your eyes on the prize and you finally got it. You don't go yelling that its so fluffy but rather spend time with her, being a gooooooooooood friend you are. Oh yes you areee. It works out, but she didn't fall for you. She fell for what you pretended to be. Will she understand if you reverted back to plain ol' joe? Or will the mask be permanent?

The next move is yours, do you want to continue pretending? Or rather, can you continue pretending; are you up to it?

2010-11-22T20:18:00.001+08:00

And at one point in time, you wonder "have I ever crossed his/her mind?"

=.=

2010-11-20T12:13:00.001+08:00

What they say:"I'm punishing you for your own good, to toughen you up and get you ready for the outside world".

What they mean:"I'm being a douchebag because you'll know how to endure a**holes like me out in the world."

2010-11-07T23:53:00.003+08:00

A: You hungry? Take a cupcake la
Z: Yeah

B: Nah I'm fine

Z: Have you eaten breakfast or not?

B: Yeah, don't worry about me

Z: What did you eat?

B: *burp*

B: A lot of stuff.

Wasn't the truth. I didn't eat anything. Stomach was empty. Didn't matter anyway.

Rememberence

2010-11-07T00:25:00.000+08:00

Yes, I still can remember that day.

Damned memory.

2010-11-04T23:19:00.002+08:00

Alright world, reality, life.

Give me all you've got.

I've got nothing to lose.

2010-10-30T00:16:00.003+08:00

I keep imagining things i try to say but end up not saying. do I really have the guts to see and talk to you, if given the opportunity?

guess not. I suck, big time.

2010-10-23T17:31:00.002+08:00

coming home before the rain
ready to lose, just to gain
and the love, before the pain.

feelings and emotions that runs through one's life

won't it be worthwhile?

2010-10-16T18:36:00.000+08:00

This isn't how I imagined it to be

=3

2010-10-14T00:30:00.001+08:00

pictures

2010-10-13T09:38:00.002+08:00

damn.

Why did i give it to them?

Why did i even think about doing such a stupid thing, let alone carry it out?

2010-10-11T23:57:00.001+08:00

I'm losing you, and its tearing my heart apart.

3.30 AM

2010-10-08T03:42:00.000+08:00

may fate have mercy on me

2010-10-06T23:43:00.002+08:00

Watch me self destruct, as I waste hour after hour.
Watch me go down in flames, as I streak across the sky.
Watch me fail in life, as I have personal conflicts with needs, wants and absent-mindedness.

RAWRRRR

I CAN STILL MAKE IT.

2010-09-30T23:54:00.002+08:00

If i lose my education, I have nothing else.

I lost my lifestyle.
I lost my personality.
I lost my relationships.
I lost you.

And to excel now is the first step of gaining it all back.

Is it?

watch me push myself to the limit. Why not stay to have a laugh? I'm sure you'll be on all fours over my pathetic attempts to get back on with life.

And while you're on all fours, I don't mind ramming your mid-section. Really. Cause it seems like pain is the only way of conveying a message over.

But i'm not sure. Its no longer anger, hate and spite. Its rather a mixture; of jealousy and pity.

I'm not sure what to feel anymore, but what the heck. Ima go mug till I pass out. How's that?

2010-09-28T16:50:00.000+08:00

ima just shut up

right

about

now.

stfu.

smile =)

2010-09-22T20:13:00.004+08:00

My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why
I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window
and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be grey,
but your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad,
it's not so bad

I drank too much last night, got bills to pay,
my head just feels in pain
I missed the bus and there'll be hell today,
I'm late for work again
And even if I'm there, they'll all imply
that I might not last the day
And then you call me and it's not so bad,
it's not so bad and

I want to thank you
for giving me the best day of my life
Oh just to be with you
is having the best day of my life

Push the door, I'm home at last
and I'm soaking through and through
Then you hand me a towel
and all I see is you
And even if my house falls down,
I wouldn't have a clue
Because you're near me and

I want to thank you
for giving me the best day of my life
Oh just to be with you
is having the best day of my life

---

♥ listening to songs that just makes you smile.

Not put you into action, pumps you up or injects you with determination (like some of those I always listen to), but those that slaps a smile on your face, making you happy for some reason.

You find yourself smiling and think, "hey, that's life, what's it gonna do?"

Then put your hands in your pockets and proceed with whatever you're doing, not too fast, nor too slow, but at the world's pace, with a smile on your face.

=)

?

2010-09-21T20:03:00.003+08:00

I don't know if I posted this before but what the heck.
My teacher once asked me "What do you look for in life?"

"Friendship, acquaintances, companionship i guess? why?"

"Oh... Then what if you don't find a companion in life?"

"..."

=S

2010-09-18T23:04:00.005+08:00

I am not what you think I am. Not that shallow.

I fight for the people I choose to respect. But now, I'm failing them. I'm failure life, I'm failing her, I'm failing you.

Fuck, i gotta get a grip on myself.

=)

2010-09-15T19:47:00.001+08:00

111st

2010-09-15T19:29:00.002+08:00

wow, this is my 111st post.
at 7:30 PM too.

found super epic pictures in the cam, taken in Australia, might upload them to facebook.

if not too epic. LOL

haaaais =/ time to settle down to mug~

what happened just proves where i stand, how much i matter to you. really dealt a blow to my ego. sure it was fun inflating it, making a few chuckles in the process, but its just for that and nothing else.

the clown's* a sad person

*i still think clowns are creepy, but the whole expression means a lot.

Limit

2010-09-14T19:03:00.001+08:00

I'm sick and tired of sucking up to you, and being treated like shit. This is the end, you watch your own back from now on, asshole.

2010-09-09T00:11:00.000+08:00

what the hell do you think you're doing, w.j?

2010-09-01T01:54:00.002+08:00

They say that you should be fighting for her, if you were to love her.

What if he kept his distance, because he knew he wasn't wanted?

Happy teacher's day!

2010-08-31T22:48:00.002+08:00

"A good teacher is a like a candle. He/she consumes him/herself in order to light the way for others."

Pretty boring day, partly due to the fact that some idiot popped my present for pri sch teacher, idiots go occupy the bball courts aaaand i don't wanna disturb those i dearly wish to sms.

but still, Happy teacher's day! gimme my A1's.

Alright

2010-08-29T18:09:00.002+08:00

Ima get a life now? So will you excuse me please, coming through...

2010-08-26T23:17:00.002+08:00

Don't let me just be a part of your memory.

I'll be much more, I promise.

Determination

2010-08-25T23:41:00.002+08:00

I'm losing steam, losing the momentum, to get what I want. Its burning out of me, just when I needed it the most.

I'll take you on any other day, life, but i'm just too tired now.

( " )?

2010-08-24T17:16:00.000+08:00

I don't know what to feel anymore.

-.-

2010-08-21T21:54:00.002+08:00

seriously, please like, talk in msn, or at least please just talk in wall posts. there's no need to fucking post as status just because you want the whole world to know.

you disgust me. the only reason i haven't spoken up is cause i don't wanna waste my time on a keyboard war. i rather settle things in real life.

having said that, why not you get some?

101th

2010-08-21T00:46:00.001+08:00

tests are over and my results:

sucked.

Better than the previous exams but the results still:

sucked.

the enthusiasm for mugging seems to be wearing off. its like a drug lol

=D

=)

2010-08-14T18:45:00.002+08:00

here's the difference recently made in life =D
just the last term, i worry about whether i passed or failed.
Now it's whether i get a A1 or not.

its a nice feeling =)

2010-08-13T07:14:00.002+08:00

sometimes life gives you one chance, just one, at the person you long most for. Taken by surprise, you freeze up and find yourself at a loss of what to do. That chance might come in forms of things you never expect. such as mutual friends-organized outings, introductions. Who knows?
I just remain silent and follow the group. people call it emo-ing, i call it boredom. It was freeze then and regret now, that I let that chance slip through my grasp

False hope?

2010-08-13T00:19:00.001+08:00

i haven't had a serious workout in months. My distraction from fatigue during any one of those session's gone and I'm left to feel the pain of those wounds. I need you to numb them for me. In order to improve myself.

Help me, help you.

Someday

2010-08-11T21:18:00.001+08:00

Someday i'll soar, and i'll fly. i'll leave you behind.
but who could resist you? What else do they expect me to do?
I come back with a smile. 'Cause i know its worth it, every single mile.

=)

Chances

2010-08-10T10:28:00.002+08:00

There is a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone.
You might have thought I was the latter, but I didn't get the chance to explain that to you. I reckon I won't, since I'm too shy to anyway.

damn

2010-08-09T22:12:00.001+08:00

heart broken and empty on national day
hot damn =(

Bigger than my body

2010-08-08T10:46:00.000+08:00

This is a call to the color-blind
This is an IOU
I'm stranded behind a horizon line
Tied up in something true

Yes, I'm grounded
Got my wings clipped
I'm surrounded (by)
All this pavement
Guess I'll circle
While I'm waiting
For my fuse to dry

Someday I'll fly
Someday I'll soar
Someday I'll be so damn much more
Cause I'm bigger than my body gives me credit for

Why is it not my time?
What is there more to learn?
Shed this skin I've been tripping in
Never to quite return

Yes, I'm grounded
Got my wings clipped
I'm surrounded (by)
All this pavement
Guess I'll circle
While I'm waiting
For my fuse to dry

Someday I'll fly
Someday I'll soar
Someday I'll be so damn much more
Cause I'm bigger than my body gives me credit for
Cause I'm bigger than my body now

Maybe I'll tangle in the power lines
And it might be over in a second's time
But I'll gladly go down in a flame
If the flame's what it takes to remember my name

Yes, I'm grounded
Got my wings clipped
I'm surrounded (by)
All this pavement
Guess I'll circle
While I'm waiting
For my fuse to dry
For my fuse to dry

Someday I'll fly
Someday I'll soar
Someday I'll be so damn much more
Cause I'm bigger than my body
I'm bigger than my body
I'm bigger than my body now

Just waiting

2010-08-07T23:04:00.002+08:00

i have my share of emo-ing. just lay back and think about what were the mistakes of your life, what you would've done and how it might have turned out to be if you acted differently.
then, the remorse and distrust sets in. my mind goes kaboom and crazy thoughts go rocketing in my head. I'm sorry if i ever doubted what's ever between us.

But what's the use of looking back? You'll only walk into a lamppost and get a bruise for it. You look back to correct your mistakes, don't look back to get upset about them.

hais =(

SH*T

2010-08-01T20:21:00.001+08:00

OH DAMN DAMN SHIT SON OF A B*TCH DAMN OH KILL ME NAO DAMN SHIT SHIT SHIT DAMN SHIT DAMN DAMN CRAP F*CK CRAP DAMN SHIT DAMN DAMN

It's all happening all over again..

What's this? I'M DOING IT ALL OVER AGAIN. LIKE RIGHT NOW

damn

2010-07-27T23:06:00.000+08:00

shit, i've no life.
god damn it. i've got to remember what he told me

=/

2010-07-25T01:30:00.002+08:00

It's 1 am and i'm spamming "older posts" on facebook.

just to imagine how things would have turned out if I acted differently.

2010-07-24T00:27:00.001+08:00

I need to recreate this =/

Too much life

2010-07-19T23:48:00.001+08:00

I've been mistaken. I've been doing it all wrongly.
its time to revamp, to reconstruct, to renovate.

God please help me out here? =)